Understanding the Inner Critic: What is Hiding Under the Bridge?

I’m sure we’ve all had those moments when we wonder, “What if this happened?” or “If only…,” or “If only there were more time for me to do this.”

These thoughts are frequently followed by an inner voice of fear and doubt that tells us we can’t do anything because there isn’t enough time, energy, or resources available. This is referred to as the inner critic, gremlin, troll, or whatever term you want.

What is hiding under the bridge?

I used the image of the inner critic beneath a bridge to symbolize a critical voice buried or concealed deep inside a person’s psyche and may be challenging to access or conquer. This could result from past traumas or events that aided in the growth of the inner critic, or it could just be that a person has internalized negative messages and beliefs from their surroundings.

There are multiple iterations of the inner critic, according to scientific research. One form is referred to as the “inadequate self” by academics; when you face challenges, make a mistake, or fail to achieve a goal, this inner critic severely reprimands you and may trigger memories of past mistakes and failed attempts; you feel inadequate, flawed, and missing.

The “hated self” is a different variety of self-critic; when you have failures in life, this inner voice reacts with hatred and loathing; you don’t like yourself at all. In other words, the loathed self verbally abuses you and despises you, while the inadequate self harshly criticizes you for what you don’t do well and tells you that you’re not good enough.

It’s understandable that you would be asking, “Wait a minute. What about an inner voice that points out a mistake, but isn’t relentless about it.” So let’s be clear. Because we are all human, we will all make mistakes, thus it is helpful to have an inner voice that enables us to be conscious of those mistakes and understand what transpired. It aids us in altering our route and taking new actions. This is what some academics refer to as “constructive self-criticism.”

For the purposes of this article, we’re really talking about how the inner critic treats us when it does more than just point out areas where we might improve. Does it hate us and make fun of us? Does it criticize us, keep reminding us of our past transgressions, or declare that we fall short? We are investigating the inner critic from that perspective. But why does it even appear at all?

Our inner critic is a critical voice that can make us feel uneasy and overly watchful. It tends to overstate the negative parts of our lives while understating the positive, always on the alert for danger. It could also make us think suspiciously and assign evil intentions to the words and deeds of others. Along with making us expect punishment and the loss of love and affection, the inner critic can also make us obsess on any indications of these things in our interpersonal interactions. All of these actions may aggravate ongoing anxiety. Strong internal critics and anxiety have been found to be related by research (Southcott and Simmonds, 2008).

The voice of the inner critic can be a useful one when we are young and our egos are still developing. Everyone has an inner critic, and it’s crucial to understand that this voice isn’t always negative. It can sometimes keep us safe; if you are aware of what is lying beneath your bridge before it escalates and begins to harm others, you can utilize it as a tool to move on with confidence rather than allowing it to dictate how far your life path takes you.

Inner critic, gremlin, troll, whatever you want to call those inner voices that tell us we can’t do, be or have something are just some of the names given to the doubt and fear that holds us back from showing courage in our everyday lives.

Many of us have heard the phrase, “it’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.” While this might seem like common sense on its own, there are so many times when we get caught up in the end goal and forget about all of those little steps along the way. We can become so focused on what we want to achieve that we lose sight of how to get there.

Some see the inner critic as a safety warning or early caution device that tells us what not to do or say in our lives — and usually at great expense! This voice often urges us toward perfectionism or self-censorship, which keeps us in fear and doubt rather than moving forward confidently toward our goals and dreams. The good news is that this negative thought process can be changed through awareness, compassion, and mindfulness meditation practice. (See additional resources at the end.)

Before we continue, I want to dispel a myth: uncertainty and fear are natural human emotions. Each one is not just typical but also serves as a safety alert or early warning device to keep us safe and safeguard our energy when it is most needed. What we do with this knowledge will determine whether it helps or hurts us.

Let’s examine several illustrations:

• If something occupies a lot of your thoughts, you must believe it to be true (otherwise, why would you spend so much time on it?). If my friend, Emma, says she wants to leave her work because she feels underpaid, maybe I shouldn’t fear that her departure will destroy my company.
• If I see someone driving dangerously fast through an intersection while talking on their phone (or whatever), I’m likely going to feel anxious until they get out of their car at a different location where no one can hear them speaking over the sound of traffic around me hitting its brakes harshly and honking horns, indicating that no one is moving at a fast enough pace for me to not feel worried about how close everyone else was getting whenever they were driving.

So I ask you, what would you like to do?

This exercise’s simplicity is one of its best features.

Simply ask yourself,

What would I like to do?
What would I like to achieve?
What would I like to experience?

Then, give those answers some thought. Perhaps even write them in a journal.

And always keep in mind that there are many methods for people who are successful in their occupations or other areas of life — whether it be business or education — to start figuring out where they’d like their lives to be heading in the future.

If you’re applying to universities but aren’t sure what you want to study, make a list of the subjects that interest you. After graduating from high school or college, if you’re having problems deciding on a career, why not strike up a conversation with people who are successful in their areas to learn what they do for a living? You might even think about volunteering if you have the time!

Conclusion

This is a great opportunity to examine your inner critic and determine whether it serves your interests or harms them. You can even ask yourself, what is it trying to tell me? Is there any truth in it?

It might be useful for you to take some time for introspection, gain self-awareness, and perhaps even get a good night’s sleep or two.

References:

Gilbert, P., Clarke, M., Hempel, S., Miles, J.N.V. and Irons, C. (2004), Criticizing and reassuring oneself: An exploration of forms, styles and reasons in female students. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 43: 31–50. https://doi.org/10.1348/014466504772812959

Kurman J. The role of perceived specificity level of failure events in self-enhancement and in constructive self-criticism. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2003 Feb;29(2):285–94. doi: 10.1177/0146167202239053. PMID: 15282934.

Additional resources:

Watch this video from Dr. Kristen Neff around Self-Compassion

Watch this video about Mindfulness,What is it really? by Marie Ficociello

Watch this video about Self-Awareness by TalentSprout